I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
