the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize