was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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