CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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