come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
