the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
