You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
