seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
