when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
