i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
