I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize