Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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