careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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