yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
