I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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