I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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