CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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