I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
