White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
