I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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