i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
