East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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