return my video game
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I can't turn off my feet"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
