I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
