Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
