Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
