sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
