So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
