Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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