Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
