Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
