all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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