Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
not ubering you a puppy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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