I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
