i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
