the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
