Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
