Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
