True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
