The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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