So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
