I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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