What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
