i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
