I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
