super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
