Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
