plz talk dirty to me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
