Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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