You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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