3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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