...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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