They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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