when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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