am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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