singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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