Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
