i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
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maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
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I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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