My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize